Bedrock Divorce Advisors

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I talk with women facing divorce on a daily basis and the emotions they are dealing with are all over the board. But there is one common thread–they all feel overwhelmed! The thought of so many changes happening so fast could make anyone want to stick their head in the sand and hide. This is the case whether she has been blindsided by her husband who just told her he “found someone new” or she is the one who initiated the divorce. Either way, the impact on her life is tremendous, which makes it difficult for her to know where to even begin.

To help get things underway and to start feeling more in control, I suggest you take the following 9 critical steps:

Gather your financial records

You should immediately start gathering all of your financial records. Having all the information together and organized will save you time and money. I created a Divorce Financial Checklist that will walk you through the key documents that you’ll need. Please bear in mind that not everyone will need every document listed. Do not keep these records in your home! Bring copies to your parents, a trusted friend and/or keep them in a safe deposit box that your spouse doesn’t know about or have access to.

Open a Post Office Box

Opening your own post office box will ensure that your mail will sit securely in a locked box that only the key holder can access. This will allow you to receive confidential mail from your divorce professionals as well as your new credit card and bank statements. An added benefit of having your own post office box is that you may receive your mail a bit faster, since it only has to go to the post office and not wait to be delivered by the postal carrier. This can be especially important for those items from your attorney that require a timely response.

Start putting money away for legal and other professional fees

I have come across too many affluent women who cannot access funds to move ahead with their divorce because their husband controls all access to the family funds. This puts a woman at a great disadvantage in terms of hiring professionals to navigate her divorce as well as having sufficient money for day-to-day living expenses (this is especially true if she needs to leave the marital home due to spousal abuse). The end result is that this financial squeeze might force you to sign a divorce settlement that is totally lopsided in your husband’s favor (choking off the money supply is an all too common tactic). Please keep in mind that things often take much longer and cost much more than anticipated, so plan accordingly.

Open a new checking and savings account

You should immediately set up a new checking and savings account at a different bank than all other joint accounts. Your divorce lawyer may instruct you to withdraw up to half of your joint funds (state law will dictate what you can and cannot do) and you’ll need to put those funds in your new accounts. Since checking accounts typically do not pay interest, only keep enough money in there to pay for one or two months of expenses. Keep the rest of the money in the new savings account, which most banks will allow you to link to your checking account. Although savings accounts do pay interest, the amount these days is fairly nominal (but better than nothing). Do not lock-up your money in any time accounts, even if the interest rate is substantially higher. Right now, you may need access to your money on quick notice.

Open new credit cards in your name only

Having a credit card in your name will help you establish your own credit. Also, credit cards may help with day-to-day living expenses during the divorce when some of your other funds may be frozen or unavailable. Do this before any divorce proceedings start, especially if you are not working or if your income is substantially less than your husband’s (you may not be able to get sufficient credit based on your own income).

Get a copy of your credit report

You should immediately get copies of your credit report. You want to be able to resolve any disputes as soon as possible. Additionally, you should monitor your credit report to make sure that your husband is not charging gifts for his girlfriend on your joint credit cards or dissipating other marital assets. If you are concerned that your soon-to-be ex-spouse might borrow money in your name, you might want to sign up for a credit monitoring service. These services will notify you anytime there’s a change to your credit history. Learn more tips for protecting your credit rating by closing and freezing joint accounts.

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